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BLACK TRUNK
Happy Birthday! Hannah gets a black trunk for her 16th birthday.
published June 19, 2022
Int. SUBURBAN HOUSE, CLEAR SKIES, AND A FRESHLY MOWED LAWN-DAY
16-year old caucasian girl, HANNAH, walks down the steps in her cookie monster pajamas. Father and mother are waiting at the steps, fully dressed. Father has on a birthday hat and holds a cup of coffee that says, “smiley joe :).” A baseball bat leans like a cool guy against the wall by the front door behind them. It's Hannah’s birthday.
FATHER
Happy birthday Hannah Banana! [He hugs her]
HANNAH
Thanks Dad.
MOTHER
Happy birthday sugar bear! [She hugs her]
HANNAH
Thanks mom.
FATHER
Before you grab yourself some birthday breakfast burgers, come look at this. Your mother and I decided to give you your present earlier in the day since your mom couldn’t wait. You know her, she gets way too excited for things like this. [Walks into living room]
MOTHER
OMG. I’m so excited! [Claps her hands with her palms together]
HANNAH
Whoo chill-ayy! I guess those birthday burgers have to wait. Oh my god, what did you guys get me? You know I’ve been waiting for a new car. [smiling]
FATHER walks back into the frame with a black trunk the size of Kyle Lowry’s torso or even Jalen Brunson’s.
FATHER
This baby has been in our family for generations! [Sets it down]
HANNAH
What is it? [Starts to feel the trunk]
FATHER
A trunk. Your birthright.
HANNAH
There would not be keys to a 2021 corvette in here would it?
MOTHER
Go ahead and open the thing already.
FATHER
Yeah, go for it.
HANNAH opens it. A shining light shoots out of the trunk like a sunrise. A naked, bald black man emerges. His face is stoic.
HANNAH steps away in shock.
MOTHER and FATHER are smiling.
FATHER
So how bout it eh?
Close up to MOTHERS FACE. She bites her lip, she’s aroused by the stoic black man.
HANNAH
What in the actual fuck? Dad, what is this? Wh-who is this? Is this what I think it is?
FATHER
It's our family heirloom! Your birthright! Your aunt got him when she turned 16, your uncle as well, even grandpa. Even g-pas g-pa.
HANNAH
This… this isn’t right. This is actually fucked. A slave? An actual African slave… guys really? I can’t believe you! Do you not recognize how fucked up this is to do as a rich cisheteropatriarchal figure in a capitalist society? Maybe if you were a queer nonbinary BIPOC, you would be a position to deserve a slave but we literally don’t even need one Dad. You need to check your- [Dad interrupts.]
FATHER
Wait, wait! He’ll do anything you tell him to do for exactly 24 hours, then he goes back into a pure nothingness until your future child turns 16. You don’t need to do anything crazy. For my 16th birthday I had him play catch with me because my old man was busy and I needed to get the reps before baseball practice. He even gave me a good night's kiss before tucking me in at night.
HANNAH
You kissed a black man that came out of a box when you were 16 years old?
FATHER
I think they prefer to be African-American. Don’t be racist Hannah Banana. And it’s a trunk, not just a box.
HANNAH’S caucasian boyfriend, COLTON, comes down the stairs, rubbing his eyes in his elmo pajamas. By the third to last stair he looks at the stoic naked black man, he is not as surprised as you would expect.
COLTON
Your parents got you a slave for your b-day? That’s siiick.
HANNAH
No, Colton! It’s literally fucking insane.
MOTHER
He’s like some sort of hot black beef cake.
FATHER
Colton, get this, he can do literally anything Hannah wants him to do for 24 hours!
COLTON
Can he go get us a couple of beers?
FATHER
If we give him a few bucks, he could go right over to the store and get some right now.
COLTON
Sickkk, yo Hannah, could I borrow 20 bucks?
HANNAH
I am not going to use slave labor Colton and you won’t either?
COLTON
Didn’t you say Allison refused to compliment your new hat in first period when everyone else did. Maybe, you know, you can… [makes clicking sound with the back of his tongue and a beheading gesture]
[HANNAH looks up] Flashback to HANNA walking into 1st period with a bowler hat reading the room. Everybody around her is complimenting her new hat. She grins and tips her hat as they walk by. Allison walks past her from behind, then goes to sit down. HANNAH looks at her with a blank rage. Back to scene.
HANNAH
[Thinking gesture] I mean that bowler hat was a new bowler hat from bowlerhats.com. That stupid [beep noise] can’t appreciate a new bowler hat from bowlerhats.com? Does she think Freddie Mangalo (may-ng-ga-lo) makes these hats or sumthin? Freddie Mangalo doesn’t make these hats. Joseph Bridalgi (bree-dal-jee) makes these bowler hats. Everyone knows that. [She grounds herself]. As much as I fucking hate Allison, I’m not going to kill her COLTON! Jesus.
COLTON
Yeah, you’re right. Let me know when you come back upstairs. You know I can’t go back to sleep unless you do that thing first. [Walks back up stairs and into the bedroom]
MOTHER
If she doesn’t want him to do anything for her, can I ask him to do something for me?
FATHER
BETTY NO! Jesus fucking christ!
HANNAH
You know what, I know what I want him to do. I want to free him!
FATHER
You’re no fun. Come on, not even one request? Oh! Maybe you can ask him to rip a good one! Come on, just one little teeny tiny favor [tiny hand gesture]. He’s not just a gift, he’s the gift! This is the first step for the rest of your life. It’s ritual.
HANNAH
No Dad! I could be like Abraham Lincoln or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr or Obama or something. Go! You’re free! [Hannah helps the man towards the front door]! That's what I would like you to do for me. I want you to be free.
“The gift” looks at HANNAH, then at both of his palms. He then looks at the baseball bat at the corner of the door. He walks over and grabs it. The girls scream and run upstairs as well as the father but he stumbles on the first step. As his back is on the stairs he raises his arms as if they’ll help him. The stoic naked black man cocks the bat back and smiles. [Freeze shot at the gift’s smile and bat behind him. He is ready to smash in their heads like a sledgehammer touching a cantaloupe]
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