TRINITY, THE INTERVIEW

This interview was performed in Trinity’s luxury loft in Downtown Atlanta, Georgia on January 6th, 2021 at 3:30 PM by Najee AR Fareed. At 20, Trinity is small in stature but her presence holds warm, polite, knowing energy. Her words are said with an abundance of emotion and little hesitation. Trinity seems to understand the power of her words, each word said with emphasis and thought. Trinity wears a Willow Smith album tee for her self-titled album, WILLOW. Braided honey-dyed locs lie atop her head. SZA, Brent Faiyaz, and Jaden Smith music videos softly play on YouTube; underlining our conversation about fate, the number three, manifestation, The Maze Runner, smiling wrong, onlyfans, Buddhist psychology, change, and authenticity. 

Najee AR Fareed: Who are you? How old are you? Where are you from? And what do you do? 

Trinity: My name is Trinity. I am 20 years old. I am from Atla-, well I’m from the suburbs on the outside of Atlanta. I do a handful of things. I am a poet, a youtuber, podcaster, director, creative director, etc.  

Najee AR Fareed: What are you reading right now? 

Trinity: Um, a book named…. What is the name of it? *runs to the other room to retrieve the book* The book is named The Misleading Mind: How We Create Our Own Problems and How Buddhist Psychology Can Help Us Solve Them. It’s pretty insightful. 

Najee AR Fareed: Who wrote it? 

Trinity: Karuna Cayton. 

Najee AR Fareed: What was the last thing you watched? 

Trinity: In general? 

Najee AR Fareed: Yeah, the last thing on a screen that you watched. 

Trinity: One of my YouTube videos. *laughs* Yeah I’m in the editing process of one of my videos. So yeah, that was the last thing I watched. 

Najee AR Fareed: What are five things you know for certain? 

Trinity: Everything comes full circle, we are the creators of our own reality, we have more control over our lives than we think we do, how other people feel is not our problem, and time is an illusion. 

Najee AR Fareed: This next part is quick word association so I need quick, immediate answers. 

Trinity: Gotcha. 

Najee AR Fareed: Trinity

Trinity: Mind, Body, Spirit. 

Najee AR Fareed: Three. 

Trinity: Trinity. 

Najee AR Fareed: Freedom. 

Trinity: Spirit. 

Najee AR Fareed: Desire.  

Trinity: Lust.

Najee AR Fareed: Great. 

NAF: Do you believe people should change? 

TH: Depends on who it is for. If it is for themselves, yes. If it is for others then no. 

NAF: Are there any instances where you have felt like you changed for the wrong reason? 

TH: Yes, of course, definitely. I spent 18-19 years of my life trying to figure out who I was through the eyes of other people. Of course as a child, I feel like we all do that because we are very impressionable and our parents have an idea or they know who they want us to be, but if we dare stray away from that perception then it is going to be an issue. I am only just now learning that the only person whose opinion matters is mine. That is why I recently changed my name to Trinity. I am pretty sure you knew that I was going by Rin. When we first contacted on Twitter or Instagram or whatever I was going by Rin. For so long, I hated the name Trinity because it was  only said in my childhood under negative context. You know when your parents get mad, they call you by your government name so I started to associate Trinity with negative memories. So I am reclaiming that power by going by that name now. 

NAF: Have you ever changed and felt like it was a change for the better? 

TH: Definitely. In every case when I have changed for myself, I definitely felt like it was a change for the better. Like when I cut off all my hair when I was 18. I was like 18 or 16 when I had cut off all my hair. It was the first big decision I had made for myself and it felt very empowering. So anytime that I do something, particularly something big, like starting an onlyfans, that’s when I feel like the change for myself is very genuine and 100% necessary.  

NAF: When was the first time you felt yourself changing? 

TH: When I was in high school, I was a senior, I met the first girl I ever fell in love with. *laughs* I felt myself becoming a better version of myself, that I didn’t know I had been hiding for a very long time. So through experiencing her, I learned a lot about myself and how much of an empath that I am. And just through that experience, it was kind of like a domino effect to the rest of my life going forward. Since me and her met, it really determined how I came out to be as a person overall, not just sexuality wise. I really began to step into me and realize that I am the main character in my own story. So I need to treat myself like I am.  

NAF: What is something about yourself that you want to stay the same forever? 

TH: Physical or internal? 

NAF: Whatever comes to mind. 

TH: My authenticity. What I have come to learn in that when I was kid, I liked bold colors. I was like Punky Brewster. I am still kind of that way, to an extent, but not as much as I was. I like the authenticity of my revolution. I may not be feeling like a punk rock alternative vibe but I may be feeling like a SZA vibe. And that’s okay because I am all these different versions of myself while I am only portraying one version.  

NAF: If you were a book, what book would you be? 

TH: Between The Devil and The Deep Blue Sea by April Genevieve Tulcholke. It was the first book that I ever considered my favorite book. It is about this girl who lives in this big crumbling mansion on a cliff above the sea. Some real gothic type vibes. She meets this boy, who is this nomadic type person. He travels all over the world. He stays in her guest house. And eventually they fall in love. Through him… I don’t even want to say through him but he unlocks a side of her that she didn’t know she didn’t have inside herself that encourages her to travel, to do different types of things, to explore different types of art. Eventually she realizes don’t need that nigga to do any of that and she always had it inside herself. Definitely that one. 

NAF: If you were a song, what song would you be? 

TH: Definitely a Jaden Smith song. Definitely a Jaden Smith song. “Again.” I’m gonna say “Again.” It is a song by Jaden Smith, it is called “Again.” It is featuring Syre. The reason I say this song is because I am a gemini. Of course, good and bad. Light and dark. Two sides of me at all times. Normally when you hear a song, it has one tone. If we turn on Migos, we finna get hype. If we turn on SZA, we finna be like “fuck that nigga.” But with Jaden Smith, his music is so diverse in emotion. The beginning of the song is like, “yuh,” like hype. But at the end of the song it gets slow and he starts singing about this girl that broke his heart when he was like 14 years old. I just vibe with it because I feel like it shows two sides of the same coin. A lot of his songs are like that. Do you listen to Jaden Smith?

NAF: Yeah, I do. 

TH: So you know the song I am talking about? 

NAF: Yeah, I’ve heard it. *laughs* If you were an album, which album would you be? 

TH: Kid Cudi, Man On The Moon. 

NAF: What four items would be used to summon your spirit if you had to summon your spirit from an alternate dimension? 

TH: Ooooooh. My manifestation journal, a pen, malachite, and attraction oil. 

NAF: Do you feel free? 

TH: Definitely. This is the most free I have ever felt in my entire life. You don’t notice how unfree you feel until you feel free.  

NAF: What is the most important thing you have ever learned? 

TH: Life keeps going. Of course when people around us die or idols, like Juice Wrld for example, which hit me really hard, I just have to remember that life goes on. Death is probably more peaceful than what we could ever really imagine. Just reminding myself that life goes on has been super helpful in any period of my life. Yeah, this situation hurts but I am going to keep on going regardless. 

NAF: What is a truth that you refuse to accept? 

TH: How do I put this in words? Family… will… gaslight you. Or, yeah. I feel like that’s the easiest way to sum it up. Or they will do shitty things in your childhood and act like they never did said things and they are the heroes of my story. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and I know that I will never do those things to anybody and in the event that I ever did, I would be very apologetic towards it. Some people are so not self-aware that they can not even do that. That has been a very hard lesson for me, especially last year. I realized a lot of shit in my childhood that I didn’t like that I had to experience and when I confronted it people were gaslighting me. They were gaslighting me so bad I was like, “wait did this even happen.” So I felt obligated to be like, “you are my grandma, you would never do anything wrong to me.” But you did something wrong to me.  

NAF: What does happiness look like for you? 

TH: Content. I like being content no matter what happens. Being content means whether it is a good day or a bad day, I am good regardless, internally. If it was something physical, I want to do van life. Just driving on the open road. Maybe in the middle of the desert, in Nevada. Sun shining. Just vibes. *laughs* 

NAF: Neal Adams, was a comic book artist, mainly active in the 60s and 70s. He was very influential on comic books surrounding Batman, X-Men, Green Arrow, and Green Lantern. I met him one time and he was talking about art style. He said what you see on a comic book page is not what a reality looks like. The way I draw my people, the things I do wrong. That’s what style is. He said style are things you do wrong that break off from the norm. My question with that mindset or understanding in mind, what is your favorite thing that you do wrong

TH: *laughs* Smile. I think that is very fitting. I have Bell's Palsy. Of course as a kid, you don’t know things are wrong until people are like “hey why does your face look like that?” Over the years, I tried to get rid of it. But recently, I made a video about it. And it blew up my YouTube channel. And it became an inspiration for other people. I have people all over the world emailing me now talking about having the same thing and they’re so happy to see someone with my kind of confidence. I guess from me smiling wrong or from what other people perceive as wrong, I have literally entered into the four figures for my YouTube revenue just because other people are happy that I am different in ways that they are also different

NAF: Who makes you happiest? 

TH: My little brother, Jackson. He’s cool. He’s hilarious, how little kids are supposed to be. Watching him grow up,  I have learned a lot. For one, being the fact that I don’t want kids. But another thing, I understand how impressionable kids are to a different extent because I have watched him grow up. He’s five now. Kids, we think we can do one thing one day, like drop a plate and make a loud noise and they’ll forget tomorrow. But if they hear a loud noise, it may be traumatic because they remember you dropping the plate the other day. Seeing him pick up minor things like that makes me, not tiptoe, but be more cautious of the way I treat other people because we are very impressionable no matter the age.  

NAF: What was the first thing you ever loved and lost? 

TH: *long pause* I don’t even wanna talk about my ex. *laughs*

NAF: You don’t have to get into details. 

TH: Yeah okay, but I don’t even wanna give her that much credit. I guess it was her because I had never felt a love like that. But I had also never been in a relationship. 

NAF: It doesn’t have to be a person. It can be a toy. It can be anything. 

TH: Probably my hamster. When I was a kid. I was four. I had a hamster. I was running around the room chasing him and I stepped on him. Sad bro, sad day. He died right there. I actually think it was a girl. We buried her outside in the yard in a Strawberry Shortcake puzzle box. I was heartbroken. I guess that taught me about death.  

NAF: When was the first time you had a feeling like you belonged? 

TH: Over the past Halloween, I went to something called Camping Trip. It was a spiritual retreat for black people. Not black people only, but there was a gang of black people there. It was this trippy music festival/sleepover. This black family owned like 50 acres of land. I brought a tent and I linked with the first best friend I ever had, we had lost contact for like ten plus years. We met up at the function. The entire weekend was so transformative, everywhere I walked I heard people having a conversation like, “yo you think reality is a simulation too? Like same!” I felt like I could just say anything I had been pondering for years and everyone would be thinking that too. I was also on psychedelics so I was feeling more in touch with myself and the people around me more than I ever have before. I have not stopped hanging out with the people that were at that event, I see them like all the time now.  

NAF: Do you feel like you are the most authentic version of yourself, across all possible realities, do you feel like this is reality where you are the most Trinity that Trinity could be? 

TH: Don’t get me talking about different realities and dimensions and shit. I would like to say yes. Of course, me being a main character to myself in this reality, I am going to say yes but there are tons of other possibilities. Tons of different versions of me that I would look at and be like, “yo she’s an it girl. Like that’s what I wanna be like.” And it’s me, I’m bitches. Yes, I am in this reality. But in another reality? Who knows. Who knows. 

NAF: One fictional world, you have to live there forever as yourself, where do you go?  

TH: I have to be me? 

NAF: Yep. 

TH: Can I be like the protagonist? 

NAF: You’re still as important in your own life as you currently are. Nothing about you changes, the rest of the world does. 

TH: I don’t know why I want to say The Maze Runner. Have you seen that? 

NAF: Yeah, I know it. 

TH: Why do I wanna say that? 

NAF: I don’t know, that sounds like hell. 

TH: Yeah, I just remember I was in love with the books then the movies came out and I was in love with the movies and I was in love with Dylan O’Brien… I would like to be in that reality if the cameras were following. If I was on set at the movie. 

NAF: Like you have to be part of the story pushing things forward? 

TH: Yeah that other people are going to watch. Like they are going to see me be the main character. I don’t know. I can only think of dystopian societies, like The Hunger Games and Divergent. Those are the only things that are coming to mind because they have really big main character energy. But let’s just say The Maze Runner. Let’s just go ahead and say it. 

NAF: What is your biggest fear?  

TH: Failure. Yeah, failure. Due to the fact that I am the most unconventional member of my family, I have always gone the route that people would not normally take. Which is dropping out of school. Even going to school out of state was a big step for me. I am only the second person in  my state to go to college. It was kind of expected of me to go to college, get the degree, then go to work. But I don’t want to do that. So, for me to have put so much faith in myself and to have this expensive ass apartment, be investing in my business, investing in my channel, and everything else I have going on, failure is going to be a huge fear of mine. But I don’t think about it. It’s not in the cards for me. But if I did have to choose something I would be afraid of, it would be failure. 

NAF: What is your biggest freedom? 

TH: I want to say my apartment. Ever since I’ve lived, I have lived a different life. I became more intune with with what I want to do. Being in the city, there are so many options. There is Piedmont Park around the corner, there is a skate park. I go there all the time and meet new people. I just go there and take pictures. Vegan food is near me, all the freaking time. It is also a fresh start. I did not go to school here until this semester. So I don’t really know anyone down here. Except for my friends, but they live at home with their parents. So it’s really just me. And that’s okay because I have explored the areas around me and have done a lot of things I would not have done if I were not in this apartment. 

NAF: Fate or free will? 

TH: *long pause* I want to say free will but I just saw this informational video that says our brain knows what we are about to do before we even think to ourselves that we are going to actually do it. If I were to stand up right now, my brain would know before I would think about it. I do think that everything that is meant to happen is going to happen, I don’t necessarily think it is my purpose to turn off the TV right now. Does that make sense? I hope that makes sense, enough for it to be typed out. I think it is meant for my book to published and make it to #1 on The New York Times bestseller list. I don’t think the way I am going to get there is defined very strictly. 

NAF: Where do you go from here? 

TH: Up. Shit. *laughs* I have been so freaking excited and optimistic about life in general. Especially since 2020 ended, but even towards the end of 2020, I was really living life. I was doing a lot, accomplishing a lot. So I have no doubt in my mind that the only place I am doing from now on is up. That is what was meant for me. I was never meant to go anywhere but up. It took me a while to figure that out. The second that we figure out our worth, it is easier for us to accomplish things because we know we are worthy of things. From here on out, there ain’t nowhere I’m going but up. I have a really big support base, my audience is growing a lot. A lot more than I ever thought and at a quicker rate than I ever thought it would. I am very excited about the future and what’s to come next.